These past few weeks I have been learning to let it go. Not the Frozen-stays-in-your-mind-for-3-days-"Let It Go" but for real let-it-go lessons. It is so easy to take the comments (or actions) that people make toward you, about you, about your kids, about your beliefs, etc., personally and I have been extremely guilty of doing just that too many times.
Although it may sting a little when people say things - like constantly comparing all the good things in my children to The Husband and his side of the family, while only contributing the negatives to me - it does absolutely NO good for me to take those comments to heart. (Yes, this is one of the lessons I've been dealing with and still working on the letting-it-go...hoping that this post will help me release from those frustrations).
The main reason I have been thinking about this issue is from watching and listening to various people I have been around recently. I am noticing how many of us get caught up in personal feelings when the issue really might not have anything to do with us at all. Even comments things that technically do relate to your/my personal life aren't usually worth getting upset about because most of the time the comment that is driving you crazy really just stems from some situation in that other person's world.
Think for a minute about the last week. How many times did you take something personal? Were those things actually personal attacks or did you just have some knee-jerk reaction to it? I know for me, the knee-jerk reactions are common. Now, I am good at masking my hurt/frustration/irritation/whatever most of the time but I allow too many comments or situations to fester under my skin and irk me. What good is that doing? Absolutely no good whatsoever.
"Well, duh" you say. I agree. Duh. It's just that sometimes I need a little verbalization and validation to get my mind to fully LET GO so I share this with whomever may be reading. Lucky you. So, here I sit, now released and ready to play some LEGOs with The Wee One. Life is good.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Friday, February 14, 2014
Valentine's Revisited
As I sit here in the couch with my 5.5 year old, I am reminded of when my daughter was this age. On Valentine's Day that year, she was officially 5 months old. We decided we would go out as a family and celebrate. We made our reservations and got dressed up and out we went. Keep in mind we were living in a small Oklahoma town at this point.
As happens with many Valentine's plans, things didn't go as expected. After an hour and a half delay in our reservations, we finally got our food around 10 o'clock that night. The wee one had done well the entire time but as you can imagine, she was a little put out by this point. I was holding her trying to get her to calm down enough so I could eat my very awaited meal when an older, grandmotherly woman came over and literally swept her out of my arms. This lady was nice and bounced the wee one a couple of times and then...
...WALKED OFF WITH MY CHILD!
Yes, she literally walked right out of the room and we couldn't see her. As Brent sprinted after her, I had visions of this woman running down the road with my child taking her God knows where. Brent found her in the other room just bouncing the wee one. She was very calm and nice and just said she wanted to give us time to eat a quiet meal. Apparently, she was the owner's mother and she was just exhibiting some old-school, small-town kindness; however...WHAT THE HELL?!?!
Looking back, I am able to laugh a little. That night my heart raced. Between that experience and one a few years back where we spent more time in traffic than we did at dinner, we've since decided that Valentine's Day is best celebrated on an alternate day if we are planning to "go out". Otherwise, we'll just chill at the house and enjoy our family's love.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope you know how loved you are and are able to share that love with another.
As happens with many Valentine's plans, things didn't go as expected. After an hour and a half delay in our reservations, we finally got our food around 10 o'clock that night. The wee one had done well the entire time but as you can imagine, she was a little put out by this point. I was holding her trying to get her to calm down enough so I could eat my very awaited meal when an older, grandmotherly woman came over and literally swept her out of my arms. This lady was nice and bounced the wee one a couple of times and then...
...WALKED OFF WITH MY CHILD!
Yes, she literally walked right out of the room and we couldn't see her. As Brent sprinted after her, I had visions of this woman running down the road with my child taking her God knows where. Brent found her in the other room just bouncing the wee one. She was very calm and nice and just said she wanted to give us time to eat a quiet meal. Apparently, she was the owner's mother and she was just exhibiting some old-school, small-town kindness; however...WHAT THE HELL?!?!
Looking back, I am able to laugh a little. That night my heart raced. Between that experience and one a few years back where we spent more time in traffic than we did at dinner, we've since decided that Valentine's Day is best celebrated on an alternate day if we are planning to "go out". Otherwise, we'll just chill at the house and enjoy our family's love.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope you know how loved you are and are able to share that love with another.
Monday, November 05, 2012
Following Romans 14:13
I've written about this topic before, but it is such a prevailing wind in our society that I feel the need to bring it up again. This particular post is for those who call themselves Christians - a call for each of us to examine our Christian walk and how our personal walk may affect others.
Recently, I chatted with two different individuals who are struggling in their belief structure. One never had much support or guidance in her walk of faith and the limited exposure she has had was negative. The other has had parental guidance and encouragement but has been surrounded by peers who live lives that contradict their faith in very negative ways. For both of these young women, the concept of being a Christian has been severly damaged based on the example of those who claim to be Christians.
We put heavy emphasis on spreading God's love and doing mission work, which I applaud, but when we do not put the same importance of sharing God in our every day life, we are not living up to God's call for our lives. I am a firm believer in the concept that your life is a constant testimony to God. I do not know if anyone has been saved just by watching the actions of a Christian, but I do know (personally) many who have turned completely away from God based on the actions of Christians.
Although there is always that fine line where individuals have to determine what to take in and what not to pay attention to (i.e., "well the Christian hurt my feelings so I won't believe" is a personal choice), those of us who do purposefully call ourselves Christians must consider how our walk may affect others - particularly when it is blantant, hurtful behaviors - even more so when those hurtful behaviors are done "in the name of Christ."
I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe that He was the only sinless individual this world has ever seen. I believe that He willingly sacrificed Himself as a sinless person to cover my sins (which are many - both public and private). I believe that I must admit my sinful nature and my specific sins to God and accept that He made this sacrifice. I believe that in so doing this, I will not be granted a perfect, pain-free life but that I will have His love, grace, and mercy to support me through the dark and rough times. I believe it is important to share experiences with other Christians and non-Christians as appropriate to support each other and be the body of Christ.
I am a sinner. Although there are some people in my life have labeled me as "the one who always does everything right," I know that that is just a label and I have had (and will continue to have) my fair share of sinful acts and various struggles in life. Some of these have played out publically. Some have merciously played out on a more private scale. There are things in life that I feel personally convicted to cut out. There are somethings that are not hinderances in my faith and I have not (at least at this point) felt convicted to remove them. I watch R-rated movies - Gasp!. I occasionally drink alcohol - Double Gasp!. I listen to music other than just Christian - Oh, say it isn't so!. For me these are not a big deal. They do not go against any foundational belief in my faith. I know for some, these types of things may hold a greater significance and they may feel led to behave differently. These should not be issues that create division.
My focus should be on loving others as God loves me. Not judging them. Not condeming them. Not making them feel like less of a person for not following or walking exactly like I do. When I hurt another, whether intentionally or not, I need to apologize. When I am hurt by another, whether intentionally or not, I need to graciously forgive even when it is difficult. On "paper", these are not difficult concepts. In everyday life, these are the areas where we cause real and lasting damage.
Questions I ask myself...
When was the last time I took the time to welcome the visitor at church and really talk to them? When I see a person on the side of the road asking for money, do I pass judgement whether I give them money or not? Do I take a minute or even a second and talk to them or just pass some cash over and rush off or roll up my window so I can separate myself from them and their situation? When I hear a judgemental comment being shared about someone, do I step in and defuse the situation? When I hear a loved one say, "I just don't know what to think about being a Christian. I just don't think it's all real" do I ignore it or talk to them to find out why? When someone tells me they can't believe the Christian life because of how they have been treated by other Chistians, do I open up and share that Christians are full of flaws and we each practice our faith day-by-day, but that the true belief of the Christian faith calls us to be loving and forgiving?
Do I hurt or hinder the Christian faith (or potential Christian faith) of others or do I encourage and help develop that faith?
Lasting thought...one of my all-time favorite songs:
Recently, I chatted with two different individuals who are struggling in their belief structure. One never had much support or guidance in her walk of faith and the limited exposure she has had was negative. The other has had parental guidance and encouragement but has been surrounded by peers who live lives that contradict their faith in very negative ways. For both of these young women, the concept of being a Christian has been severly damaged based on the example of those who claim to be Christians.
We put heavy emphasis on spreading God's love and doing mission work, which I applaud, but when we do not put the same importance of sharing God in our every day life, we are not living up to God's call for our lives. I am a firm believer in the concept that your life is a constant testimony to God. I do not know if anyone has been saved just by watching the actions of a Christian, but I do know (personally) many who have turned completely away from God based on the actions of Christians.
Although there is always that fine line where individuals have to determine what to take in and what not to pay attention to (i.e., "well the Christian hurt my feelings so I won't believe" is a personal choice), those of us who do purposefully call ourselves Christians must consider how our walk may affect others - particularly when it is blantant, hurtful behaviors - even more so when those hurtful behaviors are done "in the name of Christ."
I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe that He was the only sinless individual this world has ever seen. I believe that He willingly sacrificed Himself as a sinless person to cover my sins (which are many - both public and private). I believe that I must admit my sinful nature and my specific sins to God and accept that He made this sacrifice. I believe that in so doing this, I will not be granted a perfect, pain-free life but that I will have His love, grace, and mercy to support me through the dark and rough times. I believe it is important to share experiences with other Christians and non-Christians as appropriate to support each other and be the body of Christ.
I am a sinner. Although there are some people in my life have labeled me as "the one who always does everything right," I know that that is just a label and I have had (and will continue to have) my fair share of sinful acts and various struggles in life. Some of these have played out publically. Some have merciously played out on a more private scale. There are things in life that I feel personally convicted to cut out. There are somethings that are not hinderances in my faith and I have not (at least at this point) felt convicted to remove them. I watch R-rated movies - Gasp!. I occasionally drink alcohol - Double Gasp!. I listen to music other than just Christian - Oh, say it isn't so!. For me these are not a big deal. They do not go against any foundational belief in my faith. I know for some, these types of things may hold a greater significance and they may feel led to behave differently. These should not be issues that create division.
My focus should be on loving others as God loves me. Not judging them. Not condeming them. Not making them feel like less of a person for not following or walking exactly like I do. When I hurt another, whether intentionally or not, I need to apologize. When I am hurt by another, whether intentionally or not, I need to graciously forgive even when it is difficult. On "paper", these are not difficult concepts. In everyday life, these are the areas where we cause real and lasting damage.
Questions I ask myself...
When was the last time I took the time to welcome the visitor at church and really talk to them? When I see a person on the side of the road asking for money, do I pass judgement whether I give them money or not? Do I take a minute or even a second and talk to them or just pass some cash over and rush off or roll up my window so I can separate myself from them and their situation? When I hear a judgemental comment being shared about someone, do I step in and defuse the situation? When I hear a loved one say, "I just don't know what to think about being a Christian. I just don't think it's all real" do I ignore it or talk to them to find out why? When someone tells me they can't believe the Christian life because of how they have been treated by other Chistians, do I open up and share that Christians are full of flaws and we each practice our faith day-by-day, but that the true belief of the Christian faith calls us to be loving and forgiving?
Do I hurt or hinder the Christian faith (or potential Christian faith) of others or do I encourage and help develop that faith?
Lasting thought...one of my all-time favorite songs:
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Show me the money!
Gathering opinions...At what age would you all suggest starting specific chores for money for a kid?
The Wee One is starting to get the idea that you have to pay for things but still totally unaware that you have to work for your money. I believe there are some things a kid should just do to be part of the family and personal responsibility, but I think there are some things that are appropriate to be used as opportunities to learn about work and "salaries."
I think it is important for kids to learn that you have to earn money in this life and then learn to be responsible with that money. My debate is at what age do you start these concepts? Particularly actually paying your kid for doing specific chores? A friend calls these "earnings" rather than an allowance and I love that concept!
Thoughts fully appreciated on the following topics:
*age to start paid-for chores
*types of chores
*teaching responsibility with earned money
*amounts paid
Thanks!
The Wee One is starting to get the idea that you have to pay for things but still totally unaware that you have to work for your money. I believe there are some things a kid should just do to be part of the family and personal responsibility, but I think there are some things that are appropriate to be used as opportunities to learn about work and "salaries."
I think it is important for kids to learn that you have to earn money in this life and then learn to be responsible with that money. My debate is at what age do you start these concepts? Particularly actually paying your kid for doing specific chores? A friend calls these "earnings" rather than an allowance and I love that concept!
Thoughts fully appreciated on the following topics:
*age to start paid-for chores
*types of chores
*teaching responsibility with earned money
*amounts paid
Thanks!
Monday, October 08, 2012
Hodgepodge...a day early for once!
Thanks to http://joyce-fromthissideofthepond.blogspot.com/ for this week's Hodgepodge questions. This is always a fun way to keep the blog posts coming. : ) (For those not in-the-know...Hodgepodge is supposed to be a Wednesday thing - I'm early!!!).
1. In what ways do you indulge yourself?
It all depends...I love a good massage or pedicure, but since I have a difficult time splurging on myself, I'm more likely to indulge with a full afternoon of TV watching on the couch. Slightly pathetic - yes, I know.
2. Have you ever taken a cooking class? Any interest? What type of class would you most like to try?No, but I do think it would be all kinds of fun. Pretty much any kind of cooking class would be pretty cool, but I would love to try something like a sushi class.
3. What does it mean to be a good citizen?
Love this question...what is "good"? I believe a good citizen should find a way to contribute to their community, state, and/or nation in some way. I believe it is good to vote, but only if you are informed on the candidates and issues. We should all find some way to give to our communities and to demonstrate good moral and ethical leadership to youth.
4. 'Tis the season of the political advert...do these ads influence your vote?
Sadly, political ads don't influence me in any way other than to make me feel a smaller desire to be involved politically. I try not to let the ads diminish my desire to be a "good citizen" but I do find myself becoming highly irritated by the political games that take place and I'm fully feed up with the way we allow politicians to advertise themselves.
5. What's something you see today that makes you wish you were a kid again?
Now that I have a kid, there are things I see all the time that takes me back to my childhood. I admit that is not the same as "wishing I were a kid a again" but that's as close as it gets. I really don't have a desire to be a kid again, but I do love the nolstagic moments of things from my childhood...She-Ra is definitely one that we happened upon recently and it took me back.
6. What's your least favorite cliche?
I really don't know that I have one. Probably because I use them. hahahaha
7. What percentage of your Christmas shopping has been completed? How does that make you feel?0%...yes, I said ZERO! I always think it would be good to get it done throughout the year, but it never happens. We are also not the family that goes super present crazy. I love getting gifts for others but I don't enjoy shopping so I like to go when I have a specific purpose. I have found myself occasionally finding something that I know someone would really love and debating if I should go ahead and get it at the moment, so maybe I'm changing.
8. Insert your own random thought here:
I had an emotional reaction to something today. Really, it's been building over time, but it kind of hit today. My precious child (The Wee One) doesn't really look like me. This is something that I've just learned to deal with since she was born. However, it has become a major frustration (just getting my feelings hurt) that apparently the only things that others see in my child that could possibly be from me or my side of the family are the "negative" things in life. Even my own side of the family makes comments about this. It seems like any time she does something sweet, cute or talented, it magically comes from my husband or his side of the family line. If she demonstrates frustration, anger, stubbornness, or anything of the like, then magically someone shows up to comment on how that must be something she gets from me. I gotta say...over time those comments hurt. Realistically, I know this is not true and I know that no one would say these things to purposely hurt my feelings, but sometimes they just get to me. My suggestion...we should all think before we speak a little more often.
1. In what ways do you indulge yourself?
It all depends...I love a good massage or pedicure, but since I have a difficult time splurging on myself, I'm more likely to indulge with a full afternoon of TV watching on the couch. Slightly pathetic - yes, I know.
2. Have you ever taken a cooking class? Any interest? What type of class would you most like to try?No, but I do think it would be all kinds of fun. Pretty much any kind of cooking class would be pretty cool, but I would love to try something like a sushi class.
3. What does it mean to be a good citizen?
Love this question...what is "good"? I believe a good citizen should find a way to contribute to their community, state, and/or nation in some way. I believe it is good to vote, but only if you are informed on the candidates and issues. We should all find some way to give to our communities and to demonstrate good moral and ethical leadership to youth.
4. 'Tis the season of the political advert...do these ads influence your vote?
Sadly, political ads don't influence me in any way other than to make me feel a smaller desire to be involved politically. I try not to let the ads diminish my desire to be a "good citizen" but I do find myself becoming highly irritated by the political games that take place and I'm fully feed up with the way we allow politicians to advertise themselves.
5. What's something you see today that makes you wish you were a kid again?
Now that I have a kid, there are things I see all the time that takes me back to my childhood. I admit that is not the same as "wishing I were a kid a again" but that's as close as it gets. I really don't have a desire to be a kid again, but I do love the nolstagic moments of things from my childhood...She-Ra is definitely one that we happened upon recently and it took me back.
6. What's your least favorite cliche?
I really don't know that I have one. Probably because I use them. hahahaha
7. What percentage of your Christmas shopping has been completed? How does that make you feel?0%...yes, I said ZERO! I always think it would be good to get it done throughout the year, but it never happens. We are also not the family that goes super present crazy. I love getting gifts for others but I don't enjoy shopping so I like to go when I have a specific purpose. I have found myself occasionally finding something that I know someone would really love and debating if I should go ahead and get it at the moment, so maybe I'm changing.
8. Insert your own random thought here:
I had an emotional reaction to something today. Really, it's been building over time, but it kind of hit today. My precious child (The Wee One) doesn't really look like me. This is something that I've just learned to deal with since she was born. However, it has become a major frustration (just getting my feelings hurt) that apparently the only things that others see in my child that could possibly be from me or my side of the family are the "negative" things in life. Even my own side of the family makes comments about this. It seems like any time she does something sweet, cute or talented, it magically comes from my husband or his side of the family line. If she demonstrates frustration, anger, stubbornness, or anything of the like, then magically someone shows up to comment on how that must be something she gets from me. I gotta say...over time those comments hurt. Realistically, I know this is not true and I know that no one would say these things to purposely hurt my feelings, but sometimes they just get to me. My suggestion...we should all think before we speak a little more often.
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