Follow up

In reference to the post below...

For all of you who think that racism and prejudice is a thing of the past, that is proof that it is alive and thriving. Sad to say, but true. Obviously, this has been bothering me. While the story is slightly humorous on a satirical level, it is sad that she would feel so assured that since we are white, we would agree with her that Mexicans are a "problem".

I so wish I had some something back to her about it. Instead, I just changed the subject. That is wrong of me. I cannot believe that if Christ had been there, that He would have just let it slide.

I have two things that hold me back from speaking out when things like that happen.

1. I am afraid I will lose it and say things that are inappropriate as well. I know if Christ were to rebuke her, He would be able to do it with grace. Me, not so much.

2. This is the one that is so sad...I don't want to make a scene. How pathetic is that? I don't know this person. What should I care about what she thinks? However, I do hold back because I don't want to cause problems. Maybe that's because in my family, if you try to correct, rebuke, or even offer a different view, it typically causes a BIG scene and doesn't ever change anything anyway.

So, needless to say, I am still "beating" myself up about this encounter. Mildly beating. I am vowing to do better next time. It may be a simple stop to the conversation, but I will not continue to act as though those comments are not bothersome. They are. They are just plain wrong.

Yes, I know I'm on a soapbox about this a little...but at least it is against myself. : )

Did she just say that?

So The Sister 1 (one of soon-to-be 4 amazing sister-in-laws!) and I were shopping this past Sunday and due to a misjudgement when reading the gas gage, we found ourselves with some extra time. While we waited for The Husband and The Nephew to come to our rescue with the gas can, we thought we'd hit ROSS.

On a side note - totally unrelated to this tale - I found some really cute things and was so glad we "got stranded" otherwise I wouldn't have gone there. I don't typically enjoy "digging" through clothes to find what I need/want. I don't particularly enjoy shopping, but for some reason it is a lot of fun when I go with The Sisters.

Back to the tale...so, The Sister 1 and I have found our items and are waiting, very patiently, in line - which, by the way, was taking FOREVER! Anyway, as we stand there chatting about the problems we and The Sister 2 have finding pants at the right lengths (she's too tall and we are too short), the woman behind us cuts in with "I didn't mean to ease-drop, but...." All is fine and good. She friendly and is actually giving some fairly good advice about pants shopping. Great. Thanks.

Then....

She busts out with...

"I'm so glad you guys are here to talk with. I was here yesterday and there were nothing but Mexicans everywhere. I couldn't find a single white person to talk to."

WOW! The Sister 1 and I just kind of stood there with our mouths open for a second. What do you even say to that? I wish I'd been thinking quicker. As I related the tale to The Husband, his comment would have been perfect..."Si!" Next time lady....next time.

Media Literacy

So, I'm on the ever-continual time waster, Facebook, the other day and I get totally deflated. One of my former students (just from last semester) actually posted some stupid story about Obama cancelling the National Day of Prayer. (T, if you are reading this, I'm sorry, but I have to talk about it).

Why does this deflate me? It actually has nothing to do with my political opinions. It is because we have a whole section in my class devoted to media literacy. I spend an entire class time, plus some outside work, to get my students to understand that it is important, no...critical to analyze what the media says. Of course, this wasn't officially the media, but we talk about emails and FB status quotes as well. NEVER TAKE THINGS AT FACE VALUE! The bad part is that she was one of my best students. If she didn't take it in, did anyone?

Oh well. I harassed her a little on FB, then sent an email to some friends and family about why it is important to check the facts before you start spouting them like it is absolute truth. There are several "fact checking" sites out there, but the one I have found most credible to this point is www.snopes.com. Many of you are familiar with this, I'm sure.

So, to help dispel the myths about the National Day of Prayer, please review their article here. There is also a great article that dispels an email that went out about Ft. Hood here. Really read to the end of both articles. They are interesting.

I encourage you to do your fact checking before you speak. As I frequently say...agree or disagree, but don't play the "game" and get caught up in the poop that is thrown on both sides of the political arena. We expect our politicians to behave and share the truth, but we don't do it ourselves. Let's get our act together!

You're a good mommy!

Over the course of the past two weeks, I have had to take The Wee One to three different medical professionals...her regular doctor, the one he referred us to, and then today, to the nurse who gave her an immunization. It's been fun let me tell you.

Here's the odd part (at least to me). Every one of them (oh and a pharmacist) have told me "You're a good mommy!" My first thought...Wow! There must be some really crappy moms out here for me to stand out enough to warrant a compliment like that from everyone I see!

Am I just being cynical?

Maybe.

Here are the other options:
1. These people tell everyone that. (Very plausible.)
2. I look stressed to my limit and they feel they need to give me some encouragement. (Let's hope that's not it.)
3. Compared to other moms, I rock! (One can dream, right?)

Now, I will admit that most of the compliments came after events that would be something a "good" mommy would do. Our regular doctor frequently makes that comment - for bringing The Wee One in before things get blown up...some would say that equals an obsessive mommy, but obsessive still qualifies as good, right? The second doctor said it after we discussed the supplements we give The Wee One to cover her hit and miss attitude about food. The pharmacist made the comment after I called to check on something about a prescription. The final comment today was when I consoled my baby after her shot (in conjunction with the fact that I keep her immunizations up-to-date). Good mommy, sure, but really...enough to get a specific compliment about it?

Now that you know the situations, you can see why it would occur to me that there might be some crappy moms out there. I mean, really, what kind of a mother doesn't do these things? While I think I am a great mommy, I am not sure that these situations warrant a strong "You're a good mommy!"

Therefore, for the sake of keeping my pride at a respectable level, I am going to go with the option 1 (they say this stuff to everyone). If I go with option 2 (they think I need the encouragement) then that is just a little too deflating to my ego. If I go with option 3 (there really are a lot of crappy moms out there), then I am boosting that ego a little too high. Not to mention that it's a little depressing to think that the bar is set so low to be a good mom.

Even if it is a standard remark that people say to moms, it is nice to hear - kind of an affirmation of what we do every day, even if it is nothing out of the ordinary. So, to all the moms out there..."You're a good mommy!"

Loving your children

So I'm flipping through channels on the TV today and I see a face that I adore on Rachel Ray. Who is this wonderful guest? The only celebrity that I have ever really had a "celebrity crush" on...Michael J. Fox. Of course, I stopped flipping the channels to watch and I'm so glad I did.

They allowed questions from the audience and a lady asked Michael what he felt the biggest challenge he faced racing teenagers (he has twin 15 year old daughters, not to mention his older son). His reply was wonderful. He said that there were always challenges, but that he would take this moment and share with everyone the greatest lesson about children he has learned.

Paraphrased: "When your child comes to you and asks 'Can you come here for a second?' your reply is always 'Yes'. Without question, without judgement, you just need to be available and present for your children. Always."

Beautiful isn't it? So simple and yet something that is easy to forget. How many times do we tell our kids to hold on (and yes, mine is still little). How easy is it to judge or shame them for what they want to tell you? Obviously, there are moments where you must discipline a child, but the concept of being there for them with whatever they need, without judgement is so true.

I don't know Michael's belief structure, but for me this is exactly how God takes care of His children. He is always there for us, always present, always without judgement. He may "discipline" us to help us grow, but He has the unconditional love for us that we all talk about, but are not always able to give.

I love this concept and it so far is the best parenting advice I have heard. Just thought I would share it with everyone else.