I got a new job! Most importantly it is a GA position that will pay for my tutition! Excited? You bet your patutties I am!!!!!!!!!! I start July 1st and will be working at the unviersity as the GA for the Marketing for the student Union. Should be a new twist for me. I am really excited if you couldn't tell!
So, that aside, I thought I would post something since it has been a little while since I have been on here. I really wish I could be as funny as some of my friends, but I am just a dry humor and that doesn't always come out as well online as it does in person...really need my vocal infliction to get it most the time. Of course, you can get really crazy and just imagine I am sitting next to you as you read my blog and start hearing the voices in your head that sound like me...that would work I guess.
Well, I have been in a funk these last few weeks. I tell you, interviewing and waiting to hear back is really stressful on you, especially when you do hear back and it is not what you want. I was seriously beginning to doubt my ablility to interview and actually get a job. Heaven forbid if I would have had to call my grandma and admit that she is right - "Prairie, there aren't any jobs out there." I always tell her that there aren't jobs if you aren't willing to look and actually do work when you get one - we are usually talking about family members who are out of work again when this discussion takes place. I really didn't want to have to go back on my words there.
Now, I am feeling up again...isn't it crazy what one simple phone call will do for you? Now, if I could just get a friend or two to move up here life would be perfect. Why is it that some of us are so dependent on friends? I love my family, but my friends are and have been more like family to me in so many ways that I miss them terribly. I was telling my man this morning that I was sorry I had been in such a funk and that he had to listen to it all (to which he replied that he loves me and doesn't mind - what a great guy). I told him that he gets the brunt of it because I don't have friends close by that I can vent to and share my woes with unless I get on the phone and who the heck has time for that.
Gotta run for now...
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Reconnecting
Okay, so the internet has been around for years...even though I am still a young adult, under 30, I find myself still learning the internet. This has been so much fun! The main thing I have loved about it is keeping in touch with my friends who are all pretty good physical distances from me and reconnecting with friends I haven't talked to in a while.
Sad to say, there are even some friends from Amarillo that I have had to "reconnect" with through this medium. I am grateful for it. I miss my friends so much and though I was a horrible friend as far as keeping in touch while I lived at home, I have learned the hard way that I was a heel. I should have taken more advantage of what I had there. Now I only have one friend here - will meet others I am sure, eventually, but it isn't the same. Makes you realize what you had.
First off, I need to say I am sorry to all of you I didn't keep better in touch with while I was home. It amazes me how we can seem so busy to not make time to call someone or drive over to see them when in reality, we need to make time. It is good for the spirit!
So, now I have the wonderful opportunity to keep in touch and reconnect and foster those relationships/friendships, although it is by internet capabilities. I guess you take what you can get, right?
Dear friends, thank you for loving me even when I am a heel (if you see my heels these days, you would know how bad that is...really need to be better to my feet, too.) Let me know what you are doing and how life is going for you.
Love to you.
Sad to say, there are even some friends from Amarillo that I have had to "reconnect" with through this medium. I am grateful for it. I miss my friends so much and though I was a horrible friend as far as keeping in touch while I lived at home, I have learned the hard way that I was a heel. I should have taken more advantage of what I had there. Now I only have one friend here - will meet others I am sure, eventually, but it isn't the same. Makes you realize what you had.
First off, I need to say I am sorry to all of you I didn't keep better in touch with while I was home. It amazes me how we can seem so busy to not make time to call someone or drive over to see them when in reality, we need to make time. It is good for the spirit!
So, now I have the wonderful opportunity to keep in touch and reconnect and foster those relationships/friendships, although it is by internet capabilities. I guess you take what you can get, right?
Dear friends, thank you for loving me even when I am a heel (if you see my heels these days, you would know how bad that is...really need to be better to my feet, too.) Let me know what you are doing and how life is going for you.
Love to you.
Ethical Responsiblity
I am at the coffee shop working on my class assigments for my Legal Aspects of Higher Ed class and with each case, I am required to look at not only the legal issues in the case, but the ethical responsiblity of the administration as well. This has been very interesting to me. Basically, what we are learning is that there is a very fine line for ethical responsiblity.
If a university provides too much notification or "hand holding" as I like to refer to it to their students or employees, they are running a high risk of being held liable for law suits if something goes wrong. However, if they don't provide some notificiation of things that could be dangerous, they will still be sued and even if they aren't held responsible, they have to live the the ethical ramifications of not doing what the probably should have.
Point in case...the UofA is currently looking at making substantial changes in their staffing of the front desks of their residence halls. At the present moment, the front desks are staffed 24 hours a day. The RAs and RDAs are required to spend time at the front desk throughout the week at all hours. The university is considering pulling these 24 hour responsiblities. Part of this is due to financial reasons which we all know is an always going battle in education. The other reason is because of the legal responsiblity implications. By having someone at the desk 24 hours a day, the university is saying that they are willing to be responsible for anyone who might get in the hall that doesn't actually belong there. Basically, if someone gets in the hall and commits a rape or theft, the university could be liable, because they have someone on staff who "should be able to keep out those who don't belong." Anyone who has worked a front desk knows that it is impossible to keep every unwanted person out. People come in side doors, they can sneak in if you turn your head for a second to look something up, etc.
At the same time, is it not important to provide a sense of security for the residents of such a large campus where there have been issues even this year dealing with peeping Toms or attempted rapes? I attended a program this month where two young ladies shared their stories about being raped. One was a UofA student. She was raped in her dorm room six years ago and is just now able to come back to school here. At that time, the didn't man the front desk 24 hours a day. Now, having a person at the desk wouldn't have necessarily helped her avoid being raped since it was a friend that she invited up to her room, but after the assault, she couldn't find anyone to tell (game weekend and everyone was either gone or out partying).
I guess, my question is, where do we draw the line between our ethical responsiblity to our fellow man/woman and our fear of litigation? After working at a university, I can see both sides of this situation very easily. In the larger picture, how many times do we play this game in our heads...should I help or not? Should I stand for what is right or not? We play the ethical responsiblity game everyday. It is not always because of a fear of litigation, but we still play the game.
I don't know the answer. That is for each person to decide for themselves I think. I would hope that I would stand strong for what is right regardless of the reprocusions legally or otherwise, but who knows. I can see taht being as proactive as possible can really make a HUGE difference in these matters because the more proactive you can be, the less you chance you will have that you have to make the ethical debate. Actually, I think that the highest ethical responsiblity we can subject ourselves to is to be proactive in our lives...personally and professionally.
Ultimately, this is just more rambling from my inner self. Things to think about nonetheless.
If a university provides too much notification or "hand holding" as I like to refer to it to their students or employees, they are running a high risk of being held liable for law suits if something goes wrong. However, if they don't provide some notificiation of things that could be dangerous, they will still be sued and even if they aren't held responsible, they have to live the the ethical ramifications of not doing what the probably should have.
Point in case...the UofA is currently looking at making substantial changes in their staffing of the front desks of their residence halls. At the present moment, the front desks are staffed 24 hours a day. The RAs and RDAs are required to spend time at the front desk throughout the week at all hours. The university is considering pulling these 24 hour responsiblities. Part of this is due to financial reasons which we all know is an always going battle in education. The other reason is because of the legal responsiblity implications. By having someone at the desk 24 hours a day, the university is saying that they are willing to be responsible for anyone who might get in the hall that doesn't actually belong there. Basically, if someone gets in the hall and commits a rape or theft, the university could be liable, because they have someone on staff who "should be able to keep out those who don't belong." Anyone who has worked a front desk knows that it is impossible to keep every unwanted person out. People come in side doors, they can sneak in if you turn your head for a second to look something up, etc.
At the same time, is it not important to provide a sense of security for the residents of such a large campus where there have been issues even this year dealing with peeping Toms or attempted rapes? I attended a program this month where two young ladies shared their stories about being raped. One was a UofA student. She was raped in her dorm room six years ago and is just now able to come back to school here. At that time, the didn't man the front desk 24 hours a day. Now, having a person at the desk wouldn't have necessarily helped her avoid being raped since it was a friend that she invited up to her room, but after the assault, she couldn't find anyone to tell (game weekend and everyone was either gone or out partying).
I guess, my question is, where do we draw the line between our ethical responsiblity to our fellow man/woman and our fear of litigation? After working at a university, I can see both sides of this situation very easily. In the larger picture, how many times do we play this game in our heads...should I help or not? Should I stand for what is right or not? We play the ethical responsiblity game everyday. It is not always because of a fear of litigation, but we still play the game.
I don't know the answer. That is for each person to decide for themselves I think. I would hope that I would stand strong for what is right regardless of the reprocusions legally or otherwise, but who knows. I can see taht being as proactive as possible can really make a HUGE difference in these matters because the more proactive you can be, the less you chance you will have that you have to make the ethical debate. Actually, I think that the highest ethical responsiblity we can subject ourselves to is to be proactive in our lives...personally and professionally.
Ultimately, this is just more rambling from my inner self. Things to think about nonetheless.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Friends
"Friends are here for a reason, as season or life," right? How true....I have had some very dear friends in my life (relatively short as it is) and I have definately experienced all three of these friendship types. As a child we moved a lot...not always big moves, but as a kid, even across town can be huge. New school, new neighborhood, new church, new friends. Very seldom did I keep in touch with friends who lived outside my 3 or 4 block radius, or who didn't attend the same school or church. I didn't drive and I ususally lived in a city, so we were limited on how far we were allowed to venture out on our own. That makes it hard to keep friendships going.
As I grew older, I heard people saying that your friends in high school would be your lifelong friends. Not so with many of us. Now, those that stay in the same town might remian friends, but anyone who moves away for college or other reasons, is likely to only see their high school buds at reunions. Then college hits. Once again, you hear "the friends you make here, will be your friends for life." More true this time around, at least for me. These are the people who you choose as your friends. As a child you are very limited in your scope of the world and you probably made friends with those who were close to you by proximity. I would say that is probably typical. In jr. high and high school, we start choosing our friends a little more, but still, reasonably stuck to those who live around us or share the same class as us. College is different.
Something starts in college with you as a person. You start changing. About 95% of the time you are making your own decisions - not mom and dad. You are deciding whether to join this ogranzation or that one, whether to go to class or not, whether to talk to that person over there that you don't know. Plus, you are meeting people from all over the place, not just your town. Yes, the majority may be from your region, but you have the chance to meet people literally from all over the world. Whether we consciously realize it or not, our world is becoming bigger and bigger and our minds are opening to new ideas and new thoughts and new cultures. All this affects our friendships.
In my four years of college I met many people. One friend was wonderful and was my best friend my first year. However, our second year, the friendship faded. Still, I have wonderful memories of the times we spent as freshmen, and I am grateful to her for that friendship and the memories. Another friend is a lifer...Juliana and I met on our first day at WT - literally. We met at pre-registration and have been friends since. We have had times that we have barely spoken to each other - some that lasted almost a whole semester. We have had times that we were practically inseperable. She is one of my dearest and closest friends. She is part of the Sunset Club, named initially because of our (Brent, Julz and mine) trips to watch the sun set outside of Amarillo, now also meaning that she is part of my life till the sun sets for the final time.
I also had a roommate that I grew extremely close to over the three and a half years we lived together. She and I on surface don't have hardly a thing in common, but we have some threads that run deep. She and I go through fazes where we don't talk much or don't see each other, but I know that she is there and that she loves me and she knows the same. When we do get together, it is like time hasn't passed and we can still joke and laugh and cry about things with one another.
The other dear friend I took with me from college is a woman 10 years older than myself. She is like an older sister and a best friend at the same time. Over the years, I have looked to her for much guidance, even when she didn't know it, and I have found wisdom many times in her advice. I have shared many experiences with her that I will never forget and always cherrish. She is a rock for me and I hope I am for her.
These are the women I know are in my life for a lifetime. There are many more that I will stay in contact with over the years I am sure, but I don't know if anyone will ever become as close to my heart as these ladies. They have pulled me through the dark days and enjoyed the rays of sunshine on the beautiful ones. In turn, they have all allowed me into their lives in a manner that I can return the favor and give them that helping hand or share in the laughter of life's simple joys.
I am grateful to all my friends; those in my past, those in my present and those in my future. They lift me and help guide me and I can honestly say that with them, I am rich.
As I grew older, I heard people saying that your friends in high school would be your lifelong friends. Not so with many of us. Now, those that stay in the same town might remian friends, but anyone who moves away for college or other reasons, is likely to only see their high school buds at reunions. Then college hits. Once again, you hear "the friends you make here, will be your friends for life." More true this time around, at least for me. These are the people who you choose as your friends. As a child you are very limited in your scope of the world and you probably made friends with those who were close to you by proximity. I would say that is probably typical. In jr. high and high school, we start choosing our friends a little more, but still, reasonably stuck to those who live around us or share the same class as us. College is different.
Something starts in college with you as a person. You start changing. About 95% of the time you are making your own decisions - not mom and dad. You are deciding whether to join this ogranzation or that one, whether to go to class or not, whether to talk to that person over there that you don't know. Plus, you are meeting people from all over the place, not just your town. Yes, the majority may be from your region, but you have the chance to meet people literally from all over the world. Whether we consciously realize it or not, our world is becoming bigger and bigger and our minds are opening to new ideas and new thoughts and new cultures. All this affects our friendships.
In my four years of college I met many people. One friend was wonderful and was my best friend my first year. However, our second year, the friendship faded. Still, I have wonderful memories of the times we spent as freshmen, and I am grateful to her for that friendship and the memories. Another friend is a lifer...Juliana and I met on our first day at WT - literally. We met at pre-registration and have been friends since. We have had times that we have barely spoken to each other - some that lasted almost a whole semester. We have had times that we were practically inseperable. She is one of my dearest and closest friends. She is part of the Sunset Club, named initially because of our (Brent, Julz and mine) trips to watch the sun set outside of Amarillo, now also meaning that she is part of my life till the sun sets for the final time.
I also had a roommate that I grew extremely close to over the three and a half years we lived together. She and I on surface don't have hardly a thing in common, but we have some threads that run deep. She and I go through fazes where we don't talk much or don't see each other, but I know that she is there and that she loves me and she knows the same. When we do get together, it is like time hasn't passed and we can still joke and laugh and cry about things with one another.
The other dear friend I took with me from college is a woman 10 years older than myself. She is like an older sister and a best friend at the same time. Over the years, I have looked to her for much guidance, even when she didn't know it, and I have found wisdom many times in her advice. I have shared many experiences with her that I will never forget and always cherrish. She is a rock for me and I hope I am for her.
These are the women I know are in my life for a lifetime. There are many more that I will stay in contact with over the years I am sure, but I don't know if anyone will ever become as close to my heart as these ladies. They have pulled me through the dark days and enjoyed the rays of sunshine on the beautiful ones. In turn, they have all allowed me into their lives in a manner that I can return the favor and give them that helping hand or share in the laughter of life's simple joys.
I am grateful to all my friends; those in my past, those in my present and those in my future. They lift me and help guide me and I can honestly say that with them, I am rich.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Life is Short
Okay, how many times have we all heard that phrase? "Life is short, so live it to it's fullest." I sometimes think that it has become so old hat that we don't really understand it's meaning anymore. However, from time to time, I find myself contemplating my life and if it is something I have really lived to it's fullest potential?
I find it very interesting that until I was in college, I had only gone to one funeral and known only two other people who passed away. One of my cousins (second cousin really) died tragically when I was 14. That was hard. The other deaths were my great-grandmothers - one died while I was little (7 or 8) and the other died my senior year. However, starting in college, I began my journey into discovering what "life is short" is really all about.
In the last nine or ten years I have attended several funerals. Some of elderly people who had lived long lives and some of young adults who were just starting out. Regardless of the age of the person, I have to remind myself that no one is really ready for death and that I imagine most had things left on their personal "TO DO" lists. No matter if you are 30 or 80, life is short. In the grand sceme of things, what is 80 years? Nothing. There is much debate on how long our earth has been in existance, but it is safe to say that it has been a great deal longer than 80 years, or even 100.
So, life is short takes on a new urgency to me now. I still have my days that I do absoultely nothing. I sit on the couch - lay is more like it - and watch pointless movies that I have seen a million times. Do I regret those days? Do I think..."I really should have been out living today"?
Nope. While I hope those days don't become excessive, I think they have their place in life just as the days that are packed full of excitment. Our culture is becoming very focused on the high adventure of life. I agree...life should be adventerous. But, I also believe that it should be relaxing. As mentioned before, I watch The Amazing Race frequently (currently very put out that they moved the show from Tues to Wed because I have a Wed night class, but that is another issue). One thing I have noticed and the host has commented on in his blog is that many of the teams are so focused on the fast pace of the race, that they don't take the time to really appreciate where they are and what they are seeing. Yeah, the million dollars is awesome if you win it, but, to me it is more exciting to be able to say, "We have been to....and saw..."
I love all the adventures that my hubbie and I take...the little hikes here in Arkansas, the big hikes up places like Mt. Wheeler in NM, the whirl-wind honeymoon throughout Europe, but I also very much love the days that are spent stuck inside because the weather is bad outside. Playing cards and laughing at incredibly stupid jokes or movie quotes. I love sipping a glass of wine while I talk on the phone to a friend who is doing the same thing. I love listening to the rain hit the roof while I just lay on the couch doing nothing but listening. These simple pleasures are just as wonderful to me as the high adventure trips I like to take.
I guess ultimately, there may still be some bullets left on my "TO DO" list when I die, but if I enjoyed the time I had and helped others do the same, then I have accomplished much I think. Life is short...live it to it's FULLEST.
I find it very interesting that until I was in college, I had only gone to one funeral and known only two other people who passed away. One of my cousins (second cousin really) died tragically when I was 14. That was hard. The other deaths were my great-grandmothers - one died while I was little (7 or 8) and the other died my senior year. However, starting in college, I began my journey into discovering what "life is short" is really all about.
In the last nine or ten years I have attended several funerals. Some of elderly people who had lived long lives and some of young adults who were just starting out. Regardless of the age of the person, I have to remind myself that no one is really ready for death and that I imagine most had things left on their personal "TO DO" lists. No matter if you are 30 or 80, life is short. In the grand sceme of things, what is 80 years? Nothing. There is much debate on how long our earth has been in existance, but it is safe to say that it has been a great deal longer than 80 years, or even 100.
So, life is short takes on a new urgency to me now. I still have my days that I do absoultely nothing. I sit on the couch - lay is more like it - and watch pointless movies that I have seen a million times. Do I regret those days? Do I think..."I really should have been out living today"?
Nope. While I hope those days don't become excessive, I think they have their place in life just as the days that are packed full of excitment. Our culture is becoming very focused on the high adventure of life. I agree...life should be adventerous. But, I also believe that it should be relaxing. As mentioned before, I watch The Amazing Race frequently (currently very put out that they moved the show from Tues to Wed because I have a Wed night class, but that is another issue). One thing I have noticed and the host has commented on in his blog is that many of the teams are so focused on the fast pace of the race, that they don't take the time to really appreciate where they are and what they are seeing. Yeah, the million dollars is awesome if you win it, but, to me it is more exciting to be able to say, "We have been to....and saw..."
I love all the adventures that my hubbie and I take...the little hikes here in Arkansas, the big hikes up places like Mt. Wheeler in NM, the whirl-wind honeymoon throughout Europe, but I also very much love the days that are spent stuck inside because the weather is bad outside. Playing cards and laughing at incredibly stupid jokes or movie quotes. I love sipping a glass of wine while I talk on the phone to a friend who is doing the same thing. I love listening to the rain hit the roof while I just lay on the couch doing nothing but listening. These simple pleasures are just as wonderful to me as the high adventure trips I like to take.
I guess ultimately, there may still be some bullets left on my "TO DO" list when I die, but if I enjoyed the time I had and helped others do the same, then I have accomplished much I think. Life is short...live it to it's FULLEST.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Sitting here at the office waiting for the advocate meeting (volunteer meeting) to begin in about 15 minutes...there is a very ominous sky outside, just waiting to drop all kinds of crappy weather on our heads. Crappy that is if you have to be out in it. If you can be home, on the couch, under a blanket, it is perfect.
I had a thought this morning on the way to work. Brent had suggested I listen to the Bill Clinton biography during my drive and as I did so, this thought popped into my head. What is the obession we as humans have to seek out information about our biological parents? Apparently, old President Clinton's biological father passed away right before he was born and so he talked a bit about how he always clung to any information or stories he could find about his father.
I have known several people who have had this odd obession with their biological parent; myself included. All of us have varying reasons as to why one or both of our birth parents weren't in the picture for us as children, but it seems that there is a consistant desire in people to find that/those birth parents.
In my case, my birth parents, didn't quite make it as a couple and I was born without my "father" in my life. My mom never tried to hide anything from me, and was never unkind about my "father." It came down to "he wasn't ready for a family and I was." For some reason that satisfied me as a child and even though I had my moments of doubt relating to a supposed lack of love by my birth father, I seemed to make it through just fine. Then I became an adult.
By the time I reached my mid-20's I had made up my mind that I would find this man. While it had never really been a driving force for me, I had frequently thought about what he was like and if I would ever get to meet him. So, after some serious inner debate, I decided to just do it. I took what information I had, reasonably little really, and paid a somewhat little fee and did one of those US Searches to find this man.
So, now I have the address of a man that is 95% sure to be my birth father. Wait, there is another name on the sheet. A woman. A wife? What the heck do I do??? I know that he is around 50...why wouldn't he have married or even had other kids by now? The question, do I send a letter? What if he hasn't told them about me? Will that cause problems for his family?
Finally, I decided to send the letter. It turns out that yes, my father has married (a lovely woman), but he has no other children. Meeting him was definately a monumental moment in my life. We decided that I should fly up there and stay a week getting to know this other side of my family. My now wonderful husband, then my wonderful boyfriend, offered to go with me. He drove the 16 hours to be there when I got off the plane to meet my father for the first time.
That week answered a lot of questions for me. Over the years, I had created questions and situtations in my mind about what happened. All I had was my mother's words to go on and while I never had cause to doubt her, I did want to hear my father's side as well. Lucky for me, the two stories were the same. I am fortuate in that because I know so many times it doesn't work out that way at all.
Obviously, we are not extremely close, but over the past four years, we had developed a relationship that I feel will last for the rest of our lives.
I guess to get back to the original idea...it is I guess easy to understand why we want to find our "roots" when they are not part of our lives initially. We want to see if any of the characteristics we have are part of that other person. We want to see if blood is thicker than water. For some, this turns out to be a positive experience (like me) and for some it is less than appealing. I would have to say that I have found that characteristics are genetic and that after meeting my father, I have found that even though I was not raised around him, I still have some of those qualities. Obviously, most of my qualities are from my mother and other family members since I spent most of my life with them, but there are still some things that can only come from my father.
I guess ultimatly, that is why we all try to find our "real" parents and seek to develop relationships with them over the years.
I had a thought this morning on the way to work. Brent had suggested I listen to the Bill Clinton biography during my drive and as I did so, this thought popped into my head. What is the obession we as humans have to seek out information about our biological parents? Apparently, old President Clinton's biological father passed away right before he was born and so he talked a bit about how he always clung to any information or stories he could find about his father.
I have known several people who have had this odd obession with their biological parent; myself included. All of us have varying reasons as to why one or both of our birth parents weren't in the picture for us as children, but it seems that there is a consistant desire in people to find that/those birth parents.
In my case, my birth parents, didn't quite make it as a couple and I was born without my "father" in my life. My mom never tried to hide anything from me, and was never unkind about my "father." It came down to "he wasn't ready for a family and I was." For some reason that satisfied me as a child and even though I had my moments of doubt relating to a supposed lack of love by my birth father, I seemed to make it through just fine. Then I became an adult.
By the time I reached my mid-20's I had made up my mind that I would find this man. While it had never really been a driving force for me, I had frequently thought about what he was like and if I would ever get to meet him. So, after some serious inner debate, I decided to just do it. I took what information I had, reasonably little really, and paid a somewhat little fee and did one of those US Searches to find this man.
So, now I have the address of a man that is 95% sure to be my birth father. Wait, there is another name on the sheet. A woman. A wife? What the heck do I do??? I know that he is around 50...why wouldn't he have married or even had other kids by now? The question, do I send a letter? What if he hasn't told them about me? Will that cause problems for his family?
Finally, I decided to send the letter. It turns out that yes, my father has married (a lovely woman), but he has no other children. Meeting him was definately a monumental moment in my life. We decided that I should fly up there and stay a week getting to know this other side of my family. My now wonderful husband, then my wonderful boyfriend, offered to go with me. He drove the 16 hours to be there when I got off the plane to meet my father for the first time.
That week answered a lot of questions for me. Over the years, I had created questions and situtations in my mind about what happened. All I had was my mother's words to go on and while I never had cause to doubt her, I did want to hear my father's side as well. Lucky for me, the two stories were the same. I am fortuate in that because I know so many times it doesn't work out that way at all.
Obviously, we are not extremely close, but over the past four years, we had developed a relationship that I feel will last for the rest of our lives.
I guess to get back to the original idea...it is I guess easy to understand why we want to find our "roots" when they are not part of our lives initially. We want to see if any of the characteristics we have are part of that other person. We want to see if blood is thicker than water. For some, this turns out to be a positive experience (like me) and for some it is less than appealing. I would have to say that I have found that characteristics are genetic and that after meeting my father, I have found that even though I was not raised around him, I still have some of those qualities. Obviously, most of my qualities are from my mother and other family members since I spent most of my life with them, but there are still some things that can only come from my father.
I guess ultimatly, that is why we all try to find our "real" parents and seek to develop relationships with them over the years.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Oh Happy Day!
I have been waiting and waiting and my waiting is almost done! I started graduate school this smester, working toward my doctrate in Higher Education (Ed.D. not Ph.D.) and have been praying (very, very hard) for the opportunity to quit my current job and be a full-time student. I worked full-time while getting my master's, and while it obviously can be done, I don't want to do that again! I figure, we don't have children right now and we are already in basically free housing with Brent's graduate position so, if I am ever going to have the chance to not have to work, this is it.
So, what is holding me back from quitting right now? Ah, money...and insurance...and the fact that tuition is not cheap. However, if I can secure a graduate position, my tuition will be fully paid. We would only have to find money for books and fees. That is do-able. In addition to tutition coverage, I would get a stipend - amount depending on the office/job. Without a GA position the options are: (1) workf full-time and go to school, taking FOREVER to graduate or losing my mind or both (2) find a meaningless part-time job, take out CRAZY loans and make due, or (3) not go back to school. I know in life there are always choices, but these are not ones I really want to pick.
Long story short, after much worry that I might not even get an interview, my wonderful husband came home today with an interview schedule from my advisor. I have 5 interviews scheduled for Friday...more praying will take place in anticipation of this. I am excited! I feel fairly confident that I can get one of these - at least I hope.
I love being on a university campus. There is so much life there. While I definately know these jobs can be just a frustrating as any other, there is also a certain sastifaction and personal reward that you gain when working with students. I LOVE it!
Ultimately, is it crazy that something as simple as being handed a piece of paper with 5 interview times on it can bring this much happiness? YIPPEE!
So, what is holding me back from quitting right now? Ah, money...and insurance...and the fact that tuition is not cheap. However, if I can secure a graduate position, my tuition will be fully paid. We would only have to find money for books and fees. That is do-able. In addition to tutition coverage, I would get a stipend - amount depending on the office/job. Without a GA position the options are: (1) workf full-time and go to school, taking FOREVER to graduate or losing my mind or both (2) find a meaningless part-time job, take out CRAZY loans and make due, or (3) not go back to school. I know in life there are always choices, but these are not ones I really want to pick.
Long story short, after much worry that I might not even get an interview, my wonderful husband came home today with an interview schedule from my advisor. I have 5 interviews scheduled for Friday...more praying will take place in anticipation of this. I am excited! I feel fairly confident that I can get one of these - at least I hope.
I love being on a university campus. There is so much life there. While I definately know these jobs can be just a frustrating as any other, there is also a certain sastifaction and personal reward that you gain when working with students. I LOVE it!
Ultimately, is it crazy that something as simple as being handed a piece of paper with 5 interview times on it can bring this much happiness? YIPPEE!
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Family Ties
I am sitting here with Brent's family, 6 of us in a hotel room - the other two outside playing catch. This is my weekend to bond with the fam...in reality, I have been a part of the family officially for three years now - unofficially for six, however, I still feel I am distanced sometimes. I think all in-laws feel that way...in some cases, I would say that lasts forever, but I don't think that will be the situation for me. Lucky for me, I am now part of a family that is extremely close and actually enjoys spending time together.
The distance between all of us - litterally and figuartively - keep us all somewhat distracted from what is going on in each of our lives. On one hand, we try to talk often and keep up-to-date on the little details, but being far away makes it hard to really relate to each other. Those of us belonging to the "in-laws club" have an even harder time of it because we don't have the bonds of childhood to hold us together. We have to actually try to create ties with the family, to develop a belonging within the circle that the others already have set up. It is a challenge that is not always easy.
Each of us are bringing our own issues and personalities to the table and expected to automatically get along. While I feel fortuate to be in a club that actually does get along, I have had several friends that have really had to fight for their acceptance among the family.
I don't really know where I was going this particular entry, but overall, I guess I am greatful that I belong to such a wonderful family who is so accepting of others. My experience goes as follows: right after we shared the news of our engagement, one of Brent's aunts (an in-law too) came up and gave me a hug and commented that "the thing I love about this family is that these are not my sisters-in-law or mother-in-law, these are my sisters and my mother." Immediatly, I knew that that was true. Lucky me!
As my husband says, family is the most important thing in the world.
The distance between all of us - litterally and figuartively - keep us all somewhat distracted from what is going on in each of our lives. On one hand, we try to talk often and keep up-to-date on the little details, but being far away makes it hard to really relate to each other. Those of us belonging to the "in-laws club" have an even harder time of it because we don't have the bonds of childhood to hold us together. We have to actually try to create ties with the family, to develop a belonging within the circle that the others already have set up. It is a challenge that is not always easy.
Each of us are bringing our own issues and personalities to the table and expected to automatically get along. While I feel fortuate to be in a club that actually does get along, I have had several friends that have really had to fight for their acceptance among the family.
I don't really know where I was going this particular entry, but overall, I guess I am greatful that I belong to such a wonderful family who is so accepting of others. My experience goes as follows: right after we shared the news of our engagement, one of Brent's aunts (an in-law too) came up and gave me a hug and commented that "the thing I love about this family is that these are not my sisters-in-law or mother-in-law, these are my sisters and my mother." Immediatly, I knew that that was true. Lucky me!
As my husband says, family is the most important thing in the world.
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